Save your spray for 8a

by We didn't write this

Every day we log on to facebook to do the usual: creep on people, chat, creep on people, etc.   But lately, I have been a victim of a phenomenon more blindsiding and offensive than a drive-by shooting at a nursing home:  facebook spray.

This is how it happens.   I pop open my news feed and start browsing.   Everything is going well.   I see pictures to creep on, interesting status updates, and all of a sudden

Blindsided.  I am suddenly soaked, an innocent victim of facebook spray.

“Yo!!! I sent my projidy proj!! YEAHH!!!!!!!!!  7c+ DONE!!!!!!!!!!  WAKA FLOCKA CHEAAAAHHHHHHHHHH”

What did I do to deserve this?  Nothing, that’s fucking what!  If I typed into my browser, things would have been different.  I would have known that I am about to enter the thunderdome of spray.   I would have worn the proper equipment to shield myself.  I would have came out ok.

If I typed into my browser, the spray would have been organized, put into a safe, comprehensive format and spoon fed to me in a colorful fucking wrapper.  I would only be shown the most impressive, important spray of the day.

But I didn’t type into my god damn browser, I typed  I wasn’t asking for this.  I didn’t deserve it!

But that’s ok.  I’ll survive.  Sure, I was the victim of a powerful spray  sucka punch.  But I’ll live. The real victim here is your non climbing friend.  Ok, ok,  you probably don’t have any of those.   But imagine for a second that you did.

What happens when innocent Mary Idontfuckingclimb sees

“ FLAGYL is DONE!!  I redpoint like a SUPER STAR!!!! “

And under it, “Yeah! Nice work!  You’re sooooooooooooo strong 🙂 :)”

What is poor Mary going to think?  Flagyl, by the way, is a medicine that eliminates vaginal infection.   At best, Mary is going to think that you quit your Flagyl regiment and are now leaving star shaped blood stains all over the place.    And, to make matters worse, all your messed up friends are congratulating you for this decision!

So please, folks, save your spray for 8a!  If not for us, do it for poor, little innocent Mary.  She doesn’t deserve it!